I don’t know where to go from here, but I know I shouldn’t go to you.

Sure, maybe you don’t realize what it takes to be pushes down by someone like you. But I sure as hell know you’ve been torn apart before. Being the hypocrite you are, maybe it’s no surprise you treat people the way they shouldn’t be treated. I don’t mind you living by your own rules and breaking every promise you ever made, but don’t bring me along in it. I’m done with trusting everyone; I’m done with thinking tomorrow it might be better. It will only get better if I leave you to your lies and me to my heart. You’ve got your few friends, but my friends are more like a family, they will support, love, and understand me as well as they can. So I think it’s very clear we were never friends. Do me a favor and never talk to me again, I’m done trying to convince you, I’m done trying to step out of my way to make yours that much easier. I’m dying each day knowing you’re gone, but I’m growing stronger knowing one day I’ll really meet someone who is worth it all the pain you’re putting on me.

If you love me, call me, look no missed called.

I don't think I've been this mad in my life.
I would type this in all caps if it didn't annoy the crap out of me.

People need to realize some people are different.
People need to realize not everyone wants the same thing.
People need to realize THEY AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE.
People need to realize the motives behind what they do are NOT the same as yours.
People need to realize in order to get respect you need to show respect.
People need to realize the world doesn't revolve around them.

People need to shut up about themselves and start to show respect for other people.
People need to stop being so lazy and actually do something.

I'm annoyed with everything.
Because everything is exact what doesn't care.

I'm done with everything.
Because since the day I was born, the world was done with me.

I don't care how much you care about me,
I swear I care for you one hundred times more.

I don't care the time,
I'll use how much time to get the hell out of here.

I'm done living in this world where nothing I do is ever good enough.

I'm done trying to explain myself.
If you gave shit about anything about me,
you'd take the time to understand.

Stop joining sides and stand for yourself.

I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy.
And I guarantee, five people just judged me.
Grand.

let'sdance.

I kinda just want to prove the world wrong.

I'm afraid to write anymore to make it sosososo obvious who it's about,
well I'll see you tomorrow, still clueless about anything. yay for life.

ANSWER THIS PLEASEE

I was going to ask this on facebook, but decided it would be more appropriate to ask on here.

Do you like the direction I'm going with my blog? or should i redo it all, and go with more simple thoughts, than deep complex ones? Please please please, tell me what you think. Thanks :D

what is love.

Love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person.

Love is a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
Love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.



Sure maybe those are true.
But I think true love, don't have words to explain.

Amazing by Josh Kelley.

So come on let me see
I say baby you are amazing
I want to let you see
That you are everything and more to me
I will let you be I will I will

Cause I saw you walking down the hall
And I had a lot to tell you
But I didn't think you could say it better oh baby

You're good at makin me feel so small
And I know you made your point
But I just don't want to remember yeah

And I know you've got the feelin
And I cant say I'm agreein with your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
And the hints that I've been giving
To the thoughts of my imagination

dear friend.

Please do not get me wrong. I want to see you happy, It’s just hard to always be there for you when you weren’t there for me when I needed you the most. You won’t ever read this, and if you happen to, you won’t even know it’s about you. Because you never understood how lost and confused I was then. And how much I needed guidance. I’ll do my best to be everything to you, that you weren’t to me. No matter how much pain it puts me through.

This is the last straw and the first goodbye.

I love helping you through everything. I love to see you smile, but I’m done believing you’ll come around. I know you will never understand, and it probably doesn’t help that you don’t try. I’m not who you think I am, and you’re not who I think you are. “I'm a wandering soul, I'm still walking the line that leads me home alone. All I know I still got mountain to climb on my own.”

I love you enough to let you go, so why don’t I love you enough to let you know.

here we go again, best friend.

Never
Actually
Tell
Everything.

Because
Ready
Or not,
Words
Never work.

whoa oh, what are you waiting for?

Sometimes Everything And Nothing Can Lay out Actual Nonsense Cuz You.

*listen to these friend.*

Always Remember by Train
Animal by Neon Trees
Put It Behind You by Keane
If Only by KT Tunstall

Enough To Let Me Go by Switchfoot
Bullet by Mat Kearney
Beautiful Disaster by Jon McLaughlin
Just To Be Me by Josh Kelley
Hurtful by Erik Hassle

5/22/10
Parachute by Train
On the Way Down by Ryan Cabrera

Let me hold you for the last time, it's our last chance to feel again.

Broken Strings by James Morrison

The last thing I've ever wanted to be was broken. But when you give your heart to someone, what do you expect. Love keep people together but also breaks them apart. Love gives that push to keep going but also makes you want to give it all up. Love is the greatest and worst thing, all in one. When you're little, you love a toy, and when you're older, you love some jerk that takes your heart gives it up and breaks it in half. I would much rather have that toy broken than my heart. Too bad we all waste those tears back then on things that didn't matter one bit. No matter how far love has pushed us away, we always go back for more. That maybe one day, it'll all work out. You can't feel anything that your heart don't want you to feel. You can't play on broken strings.

I'm sure, I must belong somewhere.

Recently, I've been so frustrated with accepting things the way they are. I know no one is ever going to understand you. I just still have that hope, that cheesy way of meeting someone, that unrealistic way of falling in love. But isn't love all about not expecting things and miracles. Isn't love a miracle. I try to hold on, I try to think I'll one day prove everyone who has told me, it's not going to work out. I fight against all those words about getting nowhere and about being someone not worth it.

I just feel like I belong somewhere else. I don't understand why I'm the only one to ever think through everything. When I walk down the streets I feel like I'm walking to someplace that doesn't exist. I just wish I wasn't only the crazy one. I wish something would work out, I wish people would make positive impacts on other people. I wish people cared. I wish people would stop judging other people. I wish people would look past themselves. I wish people would try and look at things from a different point of view. I wish people would understand other people are going through hell. I wish people would give other people a chance.

I guess wishing only lets you down. But there's to a point, the only thing you can do is wish. Wish that maybe, someday, things will be different. That maybe someday you'll wake up happy, and go to sleep grateful. That maybe one day you'll feel loved.

I shouldn't be this happy without you, but I've never been so happy.

We are all hypocrites, but what can we do.

Call me what you want, because what you say about me, does not change who I really am.

That's one thing that makes me so frustrated is when people don't understand that other people can say whatever about someone, that doesn't make it true, nothing is true. You make what is true, and you feel what is true. I think the one thing people want is for people to really get to know them. Sure, sometimes obviously, people don't care for someone to really get to know them. But I think we all get annoyed when people pass us by assuming and guessing at who we are. We all do it, and that makes us all hypocrites. Even for saying we hate backstabbers, jerks, assholes. Too bad we are at least one of those to someone. The people that tear us down is the feeling we are giving to someone else, just by living. Because we naturally don't think about how we are really affecting others. I admit, I do care for people more than I should. But even then, we all need to take a second and actually think about how are actions are affecting people. We live in a world of hypocrites, we are all hypocrites, I guess that's the same as no one is?

Why don't we give people chances. Why do we treat people the exact way we all hate to be treated. It's like half the time people like to see pain on other people. Make them happier about their own life? I'm not sure what sick joy people get out of other people being upset. If you would want to explain it. Be my guest. I don't even have an idea of why.

People can't complain about people not seeing who they really are, if they never show it.

I really hate going to bed each night with a headache of trying to figure these things out. But I've never lived any other way. And I'm happy with the way I am, and the way I think. Thank you very very much. Lot's of love, now and always.

Life is good.

I really think the only reason I love life so much is to see the small things happen. It's the simple things that make me smile. And that's why if anything above simple happens, it blows my mind.

Because to me, that's important.

I probably should focus more at school.
But my mind is always in some other place.

I focus on what I find important;
Love, Happiness, Purity, Integrity, Hope, Faith.

Not why some chemicals react,
or what ever the heck we are being tested on in Algebra II.

To future college, I'm sorry I'm never going to graph a Parabola
while trying to find some answers to the way people are or the
way the feel. Because to me, that's important.

"We're both smart, genuine, friendly, insightful,
talented, attractive young women. and one day,
two smart, genuine, friendly, insightful, talented,
attractive young men will take pride in what a bunch
of high school jerks have been missing out on."

- Gabbi Boyd

heartbreak

It's the worst to go through a heartbreak alone,
but from doing just that,
I learned to trust myself and grew closer to who I am.
Now? I'm my best friend and I love everything I am.

Here's to you.

Sometimes I wish you could see everything I've done for you, I'm doing for you, and will do for you. But you're my secret. The one thing I'm holding inside. I think it shines like a light, and I feel like I'm screaming it to the world. But each and everyday I find motivation to keep going just to see how I am in your eyes. So while we're in class, all I can think about it how much I wish the bell would ring, so I can talk to you. While we're at lunch, I wish we would finish eating so you can come up and say hi. While it's seventh period, with five minutes left, I hope you would go home and text me. While you're tearing yourself apart over her, I'm wishing you would see I would do anything to take her place. But you don't tear me up inside. Because how I feel about you is different than I've ever felt for someone before, and I know this is the way it should be.

I wish you needed me.

I wish you'd wish for me.
Because every night, I wish for you.

Beauty can't be defined.

I've been holding so much back.
But lately, what I've held inside has shown me who I am.

You will get no where if you go on and think life is absolutely the worst thing possible. That everyone is against you, that one person tears you down and you think the world is ending. I don't know a lot, but I know a few things.

Be yourself. Who cares if he doesn't like you. Who cares if she thinks you are annoying. Who cares if they go against what you believe in. So, you would change to please the people around you, what about yourself? What about who you are meant to be? You'll go through less pain by being on your side, then theirs.

You are loved. You effect people no matter what you think. And they love you for it. You make people smile and laugh. The last thing you need is to think you aren't loved when there is a crowd that thinks you are the coolest person ever.

What controls what people do? what they feel. And the one thing that you can't see about someone is how they feel. They can say and anything and everything, and all you have is to trust and have faith what they say they feel, they do.

----

Nothing says that can't happen.
Nothing says it won't.
So don't give up on something you love.
Because one day, you might be surprised.
One day, you might witness a miracle.
But a miracle is all that is standing between you and the impossible.
And once a miracle happens, you are living.

A day is a miracle.
A smile is a miracle.
A friend is a miracle.
Small miracle, but small is something.

Beauty can't be defined. And never will be.
There is nothing to say what is beautiful.
There is nothing to say who is beautiful.

With a smile, everyone is beautiful.
believe, hope, and dream.
And faith will take your hand.

why I write.

I write because

1. I have too many thoughts to express them any other way.
2. It involves thinking, I like thinking. I can't stop.
3. It makes me different from other people.
   
4. It let's me say what I want to say and not get punished.
   
5. I've accepted it as something I love, you can't control love.

But then again, do I need a reason to write?

"The manner of giving is worth more than the gift." -Pierre Corneille

"If you want to be happy, be." -Leo Tolstoy

"Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy." -Cynthia Nelms

"Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you'll be right." -H.H. "Breaker" Morant

"Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart." -Author Unknown

"True love stories never have endings." -Richard Bach

"Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together." -Author Unknown

"If you're going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go." -Author Unknown

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." -Alexander Graham Bell

"The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do." -Sarah Ban Breathnach

I need motivation.

I need inspiration.

I need love.

I need you.