I'm not going to lie.

I've never felt so free.

What has been holding me back, tearing me apart,

has been patched up with love.

Love from the people around me, from the people who care.

I never thought I'd be happy.

I never thought I could.

But I'm not going to lie,

I'm so very happy.

Ten minutes

You stand across the room.
She's on the other side, with her hands covering her eyes,
just in case you didn't already see the tears.

You tell her you love her, you tell her you're always there.
You walk out the door.

But the night she called.
The night she asked for nothing more than ten minutes.
You rejected the call, you told her you were busy.
You said it could wait.

She did not respond to the text,
putting her phone in her nightstand drawer.

She sat up on her bed, with nothing but a tshirt. She prayed for support, And to feel love in her heart. Her room stood still. With nothing but the hope she held on to. What she didn't know, was the boy she thought loved her, and knew she loved, was cheating on her with her good friend. While he was up until 4 am making love to another girl, she was praying, crying herself to sleep.

All she wanted was his hand. She waited for a phone call. She didn't want a promise, she never asked for one. She wanted the truth. She wanted his love.

The next morning she woke up with a knife in her hand.
Considering suicide the night before, she put herself first.
She knew she could make it through, whatever God gave her, she could handle.

You call her that day.
Telling her she means everything to you. She smiles, and realizes you are the best boyfriend she could ask for. Her prayer had been answered, until you spoke the next words. You told her you loved her and nothing could stand between you two. You told her that she brought faith into your life. And being honest, you told her that you weren't faithful to her.

She couldn't breathe. She didn't want to.
She took the knife, and stabbed her heart.

She wanted the truth.
She tried to run away, when she ran to it.

She wanted ten minutes.
Ten minutes for someone to explain to her, that she was stronger.
That she was worth more than a life, she was worth time.
Her beauty could not be replaced. It could not be hidden.
But she allowed one person in.
And she believed every word he said.
She put more faith in him, than the Lord.
That was her first mistake.

If only someone gave her those ten minutes.

Without you.

I remember the first time I saw you,
You lite up the room with the smile everyone falls for.
You walk like you have somewhere to go,
You talk like you have something to say.
With our conversations,
with your mind, and my heart,
I thought we were made for something more.
More than what you find in the halls,
more than what you see down the street.
I thought we were apart of love.
Love with each other, and the world around us.
We connected through the words we spoke,
through the way we walked together,
and through each sunset that we felt.
Everything was real,
Beyond what we could see was purity.
You mean more to me than anyone.

And maybe that's what's upsetting.
Because I know, no matter what's meant to happen.
I will never be with you.
And without you, I've never felt so alone.

You're everything.

Every time you walk past me, I can’t breathe. I think of every moment with you. Sitting on the park bench watching the sunset talking about the future. I remember how you would smile, then I would. Seeing you made my day.

We used to stay up all night talking about love, life, and faith. We used to be focused on what was important. Then drugs took over your mind. You lost sense of self. You were there, broken into pieces I used my life to try to put together.

But with everything I had nothing worked. You never believed me when I told you, you really were amazing. I meant every word. But what I failed to mention, was how much I loved you. But now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure with every moment, you could tell. I wish you would point that gun at me. I can not see you fall.

When you hit the ground, not even the Lord, can bring you back.

You’re worth more than nothing. To me, you’re everything.

It's not too late.

I try not to regret. Because everything happens for a reason, until you realize things are happening, for no reason at all. Besides assuming, sometimes time is the only thing that tells us the truth. We see what we have missed, over time. We see love grow, over time. We see relationships end, over time. Time is the only truth we have anymore.

I’ve waited. I’ve waited for the right time to let you know what’s been on my mind, and how every second I was living, I was living for you. But I never did, I waited until I lost my mind in a world where I created with you. When nothing was there, when everything appeared to be. These past few days, I regret that more than anything. Just to let you know, how much I really care. Sometimes, it’s too late. But if you believe in something enough, and it means that much to you. Time won’t stand in your way.

It’s never too late.