Why is it that

Why is it that, I can not stop thinking about the past year.
Why is it that, no matter what you say or what you don't do, I still can't stop thinking about you.
Why is it that, whatever anyone says, I still believe deep down there is good in you.
Why is it that, I used to believe I matter to you.
Why is it that, I ever believed anything you said.
Why is it that, we could sit there and laugh, but anything real was denied.
Why is it that, it felt like you were the one real thing in my life.
Why is it that, when I hear your name, I remember you saying how much you trust me.
Why is it that, when we hang out, we act like best friends.
Why is it that, no matter how much I am there for you, you are never there for me.
Why is it that, I am still writing about this.
Why is it that, you are so hard to let go of.

Because for the first time, I believed it was real, right, complete. For the first time, I thought it was obvious through everything. I thought you had appreciation for everything I did for you. Because I believed God had a bigger plan for both of us. Because I thought I was going to witness a miracle. I thought you were my miracle, and maybe I could have been yours. Because every time you asked what was wrong, I THOUGHT YOU CARED. Because I can not deny what I felt towards you. And for the past 16 years of my life, I have never looked at someone the same as I looked at you. And no one can and will ever understand.

Maybe that's why.